


Visions of Impact

by theChromiumFail



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Dissociation, For the most part, Gen, Hurt Steve Rogers, You know I had to - Freeform, motorcycle wipeout, steve in his feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25028758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theChromiumFail/pseuds/theChromiumFail
Summary: Sometimes he just needed to get out. Into the open air. Just a few hours without the constant reminders that his life was turned upside down then shoved off a cliff.It doesn't always work out.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	Visions of Impact

**Author's Note:**

> Another story from the draft pile to the finished pile! And my first for the MCU. There's nothing graphic or explicit, the tags tell you pretty much everything you need to know. Hurt Steve is my favorite Steve so you can look forward to more of that here.
> 
> Enjoy! I appreciate comments and kudos ;D

The interior of S.H.I.E.L.D’s New York headquarters was laid out like a maze, not that Steve expected anything less. Luckily being a national icon had its occasional perks; he used his limited clearances to take the shortest route from the living quarters to the garage. He’d gotten used to all the secrecy and convolution in his days working with the SSR before his 70 year slumber. Still, walking through the base never stopped feeling strange and unreal. In fact, walking anywhere made Steve feel like he was in some sort of dream. 

The sterile halls felt cold and suffocating. If Steve had had it his way, he would’ve left soon after all the debriefings and meetings he had to sit through after the fight with Loki. Then again, if he had, he wouldn’t have known where to go from there. He supposes part of him was relieved that his very existence was still the subject of deliberation. This way he didn’t have to think about what he should be doing or the fact that he was in the fucking future.

He didn’t _have_ to, but that didn't mean he doesn’t.

He looked down to see that he was now standing in front of the sleek, black motorcycle SHIELD had given him. Apparently, his was on display at some museum and “besides, that pile of pipes and rubber barely ran even in your day.” Stark’s words.

Sighing, he mounted the seat. His mind drifted to thinking about the Avengers as he rode out into the city. The name was amusing, a little on the nose but it had a good ring to it. Though he supposed he didn’t have much room to talk. They had plenty of jokes before he crashed about the Howling Commandos’ name. He couldn’t help but compare the two groups those weeks ago when he first met them, and even now. Though he’s glad that he and the others were able to part ways on a good note, if they are meant to be his new team as Fury says, they have a long way to go. He doesn’t know much about any of them outside of what he read in their dossiers.

And wasn’t that the problem? It was a punch in the gut every time he thought about all the people he knew and knew him. _Really_ knew him. Bucky, Dum Dum, Gabe, Jim and Falsworth and Dernier, Erskine, Colonel Phillips and Peggy. None of them were around anymore. It was…

Surreal.

It was one of the reasons he liked to take his late night drives. Well, early morning technically. New York truly was always alive, and that fact is even more true now than before the crash. Still, the couple of hours before dawn was the best chance Steve got to getting out without all the crowds and traffic. The world was drastically different but at least he didn’t have the overwhelming addition of hundreds of unknown faces swarming around him. It sounded silly to say out loud, even in his head, but he felt a sense of numbing calmness and camaraderie with the night crowd. It was the closest he came to other people also living their lives in another time, with experiences no one else would have.

The sounds of the road flew by as he continued riding. The rushing wind, rumbling engines, and the tires against the asphalt and rocks compressed into a single low roar, lost under the sound of his thoughts and the blood rushing in his ears.

He blinked once, twice, but the sound didn’t get any clearer. His eyes fixed on the tail lights of the car in front of him and wouldn’t leave. It was a familiar feeling. For a second he was no longer driving down a large stretch of road but in the cockpit of the Valkyrie. Those final moments before the craft made impact with the water - the calm before the storm. That same feeling of stillness seemed to settle around him now, like the world was holding its breath.

Then it breathed.

A car horn sounded ahead. The people in the car in front of him scuffled. Bright lights flashed from the left lane. The hulking body of an SUV filled his vision. His body moved to swerve on instinct, but he could feel the moment the oncoming car hit his front wheel. 

“Shit-!” His hands gripped empty air as he separated from his bike and he hit the road before he could right himself, skidding wildly across the lane. Hot flashes of pain erupted where his skin connected with the ground. Another horn sounded. He felt something crash into him before everything went black. 

…

Distantly, Steve could hear voices, some close and some farther away. A steady stream of talking, like listening to the radi, occasionally interrupted by static or a shout. Red, white and blue lights flashed nearby, bright enough that he could see them even behind his closed eyelids. The pieces connected together in his head and told him that medics and first responders were on the scene, so he wondered how long he’d been out for. He opened his eyes at the sound of approaching footsteps to see Maria Hill coming to stand at his side. The irony of being saved by the very people he was trying to avoid is not lost on him.

“Captain Rogers, glad you’re alive.” If Steve could roll his eyes he would. He tried, but his head hurt like hell. In fact, his whole body now throbbed and burned in time with his pulse. 

He tried responding to her, but all that came out was “auuugh...” Clearly his conscience was miles ahead of the rest of his body.

Hill motioned with her hand and a slew of medics were suddenly surrounding them. From the various touches and jolts he felt they must’ve been checking his vitals and prepping to move him, but he couldn’t decipher their words or questions past the monotonous hum of voices. The pain had officially set in and everything else was a blur.

Unfortunately, Steve was used to the vague, half-conscious state that came with the mixture of anesthetics and other fluids since he was given the serum. It reminded him of his fevers as a boy, his body keeping him awake while the medicine kept him down and exhausted. As they secured the straps to the spine board, he could feel his awareness slipping again. One last jolt, and then - 

The incessant beeping of the monitoring machines as he lay in a recovery room. Steve would have been able to tell immediately that it was a SHIELD hospital even if he didn’t remember seeing Hill. The room had the same boring look as any hospital, but the design was streamlined, accented with grey and black and the linens weren’t cheap. At least they weren’t tricking him into thinking it wasn’t the future anymore.He spotted water on the bed table and tried to sit up to grab it, but his body immediately protested. 

“You might want to take it easy there, Capsicle.”

It didn’t shock him that someone else was in the room, his spatial awareness was still notable. What did take him back was that it wasn’t a SHIELD agent, and even more shocking was that it was none other than Tony Stark. He reached over to hand Steve the cup of water, grinning. 

“Surprised to see me?”

Steve took a sip from the straw in the cup, letting the water rehydrate his vocal chords before speaking. “Yes actually.” What use was there in lying? Another sip. “What are you doing here?”

“You know, I happened to be in the neighborhood to visit old Mr. Cyclops himself-” Steve shot him a look, which he completely ignored. “Avengers business and all- you would’ve been there- so imagine my surprise when I find out “change of plans”; the meeting’s cancelled and you're being treated for third degree burns and internal bleeding. What the hell, Cap? You can take down some aliens but traffic’s too much for you?”

Steve shook his head, smiling. Once Stark got talking it was like a runaway train. “A car swerved out of control. I was…” his smile faded, “...distracted.”

He remembered that stillness right before the car had hit him, the feeling like he was seeing the world through a small screen. It was more common now since he was thawed, but he wasn’t sure what it was. His memory of what happened after they got him on a stretcher played like skipping through a film reel. A rocky ride in an ambulance, rolling down the halls of a medical wing, being injected, scraped and sliced open-

He had completely forgotten about the meeting that was supposed to be today. He searched the room for a clock and his eyes landed on the digital display on the wall next to the mounted television. 10:43 AM.

“Yeah, it’s certainly too early for this,” Tony comments, gesturing to refer to Steve sitting in the hospital bed covered in bandages. He took the cup of water back. There was a small look of concern Steve could detect behind the man’s forced indifference. “Going anywhere in particular?”

“Where would I run to?” He meant it as a joke, but as soon as the words left his mouth he knew they carried far too much weight, too much truth. Tony looked mildly surprised at the fact. “Don’t worry, I would’ve been back. I’ve driven out plenty times before.”

“I saw.” Steve raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Oh please, you already know I hack into SHIELD like it’s my job. And if you think they’re not following you like a second shadow I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I guess I just like to pretend that I don’t know.” 

“Ignorance is bliss, ain’t it?” They both laughed at the absurdity of their lives. Until the laughing set off Steve’s nerves and his injuries flared. He had to grit his teeth, grinding up the sheets in his hands to get through the pain. “I’ll uh...go and see Fury now.” Steve nodded in acknowledgement as Tony got up to leave. He was slightly disappointed, the man was a welcomed distraction if he was being honest with himself. “See you around Cap.”

Steve wasn’t sure if it was just good timing or Tony’s doing, but he was grateful when a group of nurses quickly filed into the room. 


End file.
